I really haven't been able to spend as much time as I would liked to have spent with you neh.

The family and all takes up time. So does your rushing about. Doesn't really leave all that much time to catch up and simply hang about. I don't really hanker for more time, but rather I'd like to just treasure, remember and enjoy what time we do spend.

It's really good to see you again. And I'm really pleased to be able to show you how happy I am, especially with my family and kid(s).

Well, I do sincerely wish you all the best and to quote Tim Gunn "Make it work!"

I'm stuck at a coffeeshop while it's pouring cats and dogs. Times like these really start that smoky feeling.
Thus far I am resisting it.
Have toyed with the idea of buying a pack and then tossing it after two sticks, but that's stupid.
Will this rain end soon?

When people ask, "How's life?".

They don't want to hear about how sedate life has been. About how things have taken on a comforting routine. About how one now snacks and then feels guilty about it but snacks anyway. Or thinks about smoking, but then eats a sweet or find something distracting to think about so that the preceding thought can be quickly brushed away, but then feels guilty for having thought about it and how one still keeps on thinking about it.

How can one just stop thoughts? They form regardless of what you want. Just popping into existence. It's a question on whether you act on them. And therefore I consider the PSP and 3G phones to be boon of existence. Because, they are so effective at distracting me. So i stop thinking about how hungry I am and how I'd like to smoke. Because these thoughts occur to me while travelling. Once I've reached my destination, it's fine. I have people to talk to, stuff to do, lists to refer to and things going on about me.

The stuff that bothers me ceases, because I have new stuff to bother myself with. Like "Why is this item's packaging torn? NABEI, which dumbfuck did this?!"

Ah, life's like that. But generally, I'm really happy. And when one is happy, it's easier to let things slide.

Tra la la.

We have gotten back into the groove of cooking at home. In the weeks before this, we had chicken parmesan, attempted unleavened bread, and even as we speak, the wife is cooking spaghetti with tomato sauce and I will add some pork patties to it later.

I hope to impress on the Nut that home cooked food is good and yummy. And that she will pick it up and learn how to cook as well. I have no worries about her loving food, since she will try anything at least once. And she will eat something that she likes on principle alone.

The Nut now babbles alot and like to talk and interact with others. Her social skills are pretty impressive when she's in the mood.

Now she's able to stand without support for a few seconds at a time. She has figured out how to climb the stairs, but not quite the proper way to descend them. I suppose it's different from how she is ably getting off sofas and beds by pushing herself off legs first.

And it is funny to try and imagine what she could be saying when she is looking at you earnestly and saying " Bah Ba, Ga Gah, Ta!"

She has also learnt how to growl and make noises right out of the The Exorcist. I can't decide whether she picked that up from the purring cats, Cookie Monster or Hugga Wugga. Maybe it's all three.

Still In Love With My Wife.

Marriage is an alliance between two kingdoms and not a merger. The fallacy that two can become one, I believe, has lead to the downfall and breakup of more than a few unions.

And I am glad that I am in happy alliance so I try to remember that she is not me, so I should be more tolerant. She will do things and think things through in her own way, and thus far, it has served her well. There will be the occasional lapse, but then I too, make mistakes.

So live and let live, since we still have a lot of living to do together.

I look back at my past, and would not trade what I have now for all the promise that the past had whispered, not when I am really happy with the reality now. What of the happiness is fantasies? Just smoke blown away when I think of my family.

I'm glad I'm not your friend...

I know it's unkind, but I'm glad I'm not John Doe's friend, because John Doe has really ugly friends. I'm really sorry, but I have to tell the truth. What's worse is that they all seem so uninteresting. Doesn't make me better. All it does is show up what an arsehole I am, so too de loo!

I'm still glad I'm not your friend.

CRYPTIC JUICE...

- The GPs made us take the Truth to see a GP about a GP that has no specific Dx and no Rx that is mandatory. And she can still wave bye bye when leaving for the clinic. She makes me laugh even when I'm annoyed.

- OH is currently pissed at me for being unconcious. Oh, sighs.

- Day 2 seems harder than Day 1. And there'll be no one to sponge off later since I'm not meeting anyone. Will go on a sugar binge and bounce off the walls of HF later, and make FT of HF buy me an expresso double; Indonesian beans of course. Will persist in feeling sleepy and irritable.

- Sent out nasty email to aggrieved man who demanded, demanded that I sell him something for which I have already advised is sold out. Have resisted the urge to tell him that I will give birth to said item after a nine month gestation period.

- And why are the roads so full of fucking idiots? The eternal question...